For many years, the use of the words “heart” and “love” got on my nerves. Like with many things, humans have abused the use of these words. I have a strong unpleasant internal reaction to this love- heart abuse. The banality and sentimentalism used by marketing departments for love-hungry consumers is beyond control. The overuse of the heart-shape, empty “inspirational” love quotes and silent drilling indoctrination with false beliefs that are patented and accepted by the established structures sickens me. It makes us martyrs for love eternally seeking a sugar coated heaven.
It took me years to understand the real Way of the Heart.
Like so many of us, my heart was broken first by my parents, then by a lover, by a friend… until I unconsciously decided that it had been broken by Life… So, in my journey of getting myself together and functioning like I was expected to – like a well behaved girl does – a new fake heart was born. A heart with glass walls and mechanical instincts, a heart that I personally trained for not making mistakes again and not accepting any forms of possible openings. It was an empty heart, a patriarchal heart and, worst of all, an arrogant heart. It never occurred to me that in order to get my heart back it would have to be cracked open again.
Oh if I had just known that… I would probably never have taken this journey back “home” – to my true self. I would probably have never taken it because to resuscitate one’s heart is a warrior’s task and not for the faint hearted. Because we need to die to our own understanding of reality and be born in a new paradigm, which might be wilder than anything we have ever imagined before. In that journey we will see ourselves as the mirror, so there will be no people to blame. Only we can take responsibility for ourselves and the life we have created. If we really do the work, we will probably fall on our knees seeing the reflection in that mirror and understanding that in order to restore the fullness of the Heart we must see ourselves first and fall in love with all that we are, including the darkest and most outrageous parts of ourselves.
This journey was called by the Gnostics(1) “Know Thyself” and ancient civilisations like the Egyptian and the Tibetan developed a whole science around it.
As a science and business trained woman, my mind needed to understand what was this business of the heart… What was all this fuss about? My fear of fake soppy sentimentalism was so strong that my resistance to feel my heart was beyond measure. I knew I needed to go as deep as I could and that is how I started studying ancient wisdom. My cynical self was still resistant but after meditating for months on the Book of the Dead of Ani (c. 1275 BC) where the heart of the initiate is required to be as light as a feather, I could then understand the imperative need to let go of any heaviness and the crystallised pain in my heart area. That is how I found the mystics work of Santa Teresa of Avila, Saint John of the Cross and Ibn Arabi’s and Rumi’s. Their words and experiences were a balm to my existence. Then I understood that the healing of the Heart was a human process for us all.
“There was a time I would reject those
who were not my faith.
But now, my heart has grown capable of taking on all forms.
It is a pasture for gazelles, an abbey for monks.
A table for the Torah. Kaaba for the pilgrim.
My religion is love.
Whichever the route love’s caravan shall take,
That shall be the path of my faith.”
– Ibn Arabi
It was around this time that I got in touch with what the mystics call “the longing”. And what is the longing? It is the longing to feel the ecstasy of pure raw love. A love that cannot be put into words, a love that cannot be taught, a love that can only be experienced and longed for. The love that all humans are entitled to feel and breathe. This love, which is pure Life Force, can disintegrate the stagnant crystal walls of our overprotected hardened hearts. Then a fluid, juicy, fresh and true heart can be reborn.
The heart, like the brain, generates a powerful electromagnetic field, McCraty explains in The Energetic Heart. “The heart generates the largest electromagnetic field in the body. The electrical field as measured in an electrocardiogram (ECG) is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the brain waves recorded in an electroencephalogram (EEG).”
In the alchemical resuscitation of my heart, I had to find different tools to soothe myself during the process. I understood that opening the heart is a very feminine process. A process that takes you inward, a process of intimacy, a process of softness and a process of stillness and wilderness.
My first most precious alchemical healing gift was the flower of the Rose. The Rose has been a symbol for the Divine Feminine and Beauty for eons, especially in Islamic Mysticism. ( 2) According to the experts at University of Maryland Medical Centre: “Some experts believe our sense of smell may play a role. The “smell” receptors in your nose communicate with parts of your brain (the amygdala and hippocampus) that serve as storehouses for emotions and memories. When you breathe in essential oil molecules, some researchers believe that they stimulate these parts of your brain and influence physical, emotional, and mental health.” The Damascus Rose (Bot.: Rosa Damacena) essential oil is an incredible healer: antidepressant, antiseptic and aphrodisiac are just some of its healing qualities.
A few drops in an oil burner or on your wrists will help clear the space and drop into the space of your heart. This is the oil I use for meditation when I need to drop from my head (mind) into the heart.
The second gift was a Heart Meditation where you connect with the Heart Intelligence and let go of any obstacles that might be obstructing the functioning of the heart. Meditation gives us the space to process all the stagnant emotions which have been stored in the Heart and that are now transmuting into life force. Meditation also provides the right frame of mind for integration of this new paradigm where we let go of mind controlling and allow the Heart Intelligence to take form. Please listen to Maria Angel Costa‘s incredibly enchanting and beautiful “Harp Enchantment” tune and breath deeply into your Heart.
One of my favourites meditation crystals is Tit, the Obsidian Crystal Knot. Out it on your heart. It helps the heart open, reconnecting the emotional energy body with the psyche. This Obsidian Crystal Geometry also protects the habitat.
I love the work of our contemporary mystic Andrew Harvey on Rumi’s work and Mirabai Star on Saint Teresa de Avila, Saint John of the Cross and Julian of Norwich.
“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.”
To let go of old patterns and dysfunctional ways of being is not easy. First of all because it is a shadow process. Carl Gustav Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist who founded analytical psychology stated the shadow to be the unknown dark side of the personality. Therefore it is important to have a good therapist who can guide us and be our light house on our journey back to ourselves. I have personally found Obsidian Therapy (certified by the Ministry of Health of Mexico) the most potent type of therapy to get back to the Intelligence of the Heart.
“That’s the way it is when you love. It makes you suffer, and I have suffered much in the years since. But it matters little that you suffer, so long as you feel alive with a sense of the close bond that connects all living things, so long as love does not die!”
– Hermman Hesse